It Hurts to be Helpless

I can relate to this because I have arranged my life in such a way as to avoid helplessness as much as possible. It hurts to be helpless. As in this passage from Isaiah:

"You went to Molech with olive oil and increased your perfumes. You sent your ambassadors far away; you descended to the grave itself! You were wearied by all your ways, but you would not say, 'It is hopeless.' You found renewal of your strength, and so you did not faint" (Isa. 57:9-10).

Redeeming myself feels better than being helpless. The problem is it leads me to more dead ends and further self redemption. God is thwarting my efforts now to return me to Himself and I am broken in ways that hurt more than my original helplessness. In fact helpless is not broken. It is being constantly reliant on God for help.

I am a goal oriented-driven person and now that my dreams have been shattered, I have to mourn the loss of these things and become blank slate...an empty vessel.

in reference to: Is God Harassing You?  | The Counseling Solutions Group, Inc. (view on Google Sidewiki)